Can you really feel it? If you’re paying sufficient consideration, and you have your spirit tuned to the frequencies of the planet, then you’ll give you the option to sense that the outdated Avatar equipment is beginning to crank up once more. The third instalment of the sequence, Avatar: Fire and Ash, is ready for launch in December. And which means that James Cameron finds himself saddled with a acquainted activity; in simply 9 months he has to attempt to inspire folks to see a movie from a franchise that they’ve already forgotten about twice prior to now.
The dangerous information is that these are extremely costly movies to make. So costly, actually, that Cameron beforehand said that the second movie wanted to be the third highest grossing film of all time simply to break even. And, simply to compound issues, that movie was such an incomprehensible mishmash of confused mythology, nondescript motivation and imprecise characterisation that this one wants to be one thing actually particular to get bums on seats.
(*3*)
But the higher information is that James Cameron has been right here earlier than. He is aware of precisely how to get folks excited for Avatar motion pictures now, and by God he’s going to pull out the large weapons. So, how is Cameron going to make you need to watch Avatar: Fire and Ash? Simple, by promising you a sustained emotional breakdown.
So far, one of many solely folks to have watched Fire and Ash in its entirety is Cameron’s spouse Suzy Amis Cameron. According to an interview in Empire, Suzy watched the movie simply earlier than Christmas. There is a likelihood she won’t but be over it.
“My wife watched the whole thing from end to end. She had kept herself away from it and I wasn’t showing her bits and pieces as we went along. This was 22 December,” Cameron mentioned. “She bawled for four hours. She kept trying to get her shit back together so she could tell me specific reactions, and then she’d just tear up and start crying again. Finally, I’m like, ‘Honey, I’ve got to go to bed. Sorry, we’ll talk about it some other time.’”
Now, Fire and Ash is believed to be a lengthy movie – Cameron has already mentioned it will be longer than Avatar 2, which had a three hours and 12 minutes runtime – besides, a four-hour bawling match appears extreme. This is a movie that will make you cry so exhausting and for thus lengthy that even James Cameron will finally get bored. That’s actually saying one thing.
Let’s do the maths right here. If Suzy Amis Cameron’s response is any indication then, come December, you’re going to have to put apart seven-and-a-half hours apart to expertise Avatar: Fire and Ash; three-and-a-half to watch it after which one other 4 to lie on the ground weeping and wailing as you course of what you simply noticed. That’s a huge chunk of time. It implies that realistically you can solely watch a matinee efficiency, or else you threat shedding a full night time’s sleep to sobbing uncontrollably concerning the destiny of some blue smurf factor whose identify you will by no means give you the option to bear in mind. Surely that will have an effect on field workplace grosses.
But let’s take a look at this as a possibility. If Fire and Ash is actually as emotionally pulverising as Cameron makes out, then the advertising potentialities are countless. Perhaps audiences could possibly be handed a sachet of rehydration salts with their tickets, or perhaps fleets of therapists could possibly be ready within the foyer to soothe the exploded nervous techniques of everybody who sees it.
Also, it’s value mentioning that the third Avatar movie isn’t even going to be probably the most hysterically brutal Avatar movie of the sequence. No, that honour goes to the fourth instalment. In 2022, Cameron revealed that, whereas studio executives despatched him three pages of notes after studying the script for Avatar 2, and only one for Avatar 3, the sum total of the response to the fourth film’s script was an email reading “Holy fuck”.
Now, keep in mind that Avatar 3 managed to destroy Suzy Amis Cameron for 4 hours, with the implication being that the identical will occur to you. What on earth goes to occur after the fourth movie? Will you bawl for 5 hours? Six? Will your hair spontaneously burst into flames? Will your coronary heart explode inside your ribcage and kill you immediately? Better begin pre-booking your ambulances for December 2029.
